I guess I must have met Bobby about 30 years ago.  He was actually a friend of Trucker Mans. He was a stange one even then.  He was about 18 and he lived in a house all by himself.  His dad had died and his mother was in a mental institution.  She was locked up when she went off the deep end and went after Bobby with a knife when he was 17.  So he lived there all alone.  Or at least until he was about 23.  His mother's medical bills became so great that his uncle sold the house to pay them. 

   When Trucker Man went into the sevice Bobby and I were both kind of lost without him so for a few years Bobby was like an adopted brother.  At that time he had a girlfriend named Kathy.  It seems he was with her for a couple of years, and eventually she got pregnant.  But Bobby didn't want to get married so Kathy left. She was the only girlfriend he ever had. 

     I move away and I ived way from here  for many years. Even though my brother remained close to Bobby, I lost all contact with him.  About 6 years ago I moved back here and I saw Bobby again.  I was so shocked.  I have never personally known a homeless person.  But  Bobby had become a street person.  Bobby whose mother had severe mental problems had apparently inherited them.  I believe he was a paranoid schiziophrenic.  He thought everyone was out to get him.  He couldn't hold a job and just worked temporary jobs for a day or two so he could  get cigarette money.  He ate at soup kitchens and slept under a bridge or at a shelter if the weather was bad.  His appearence was shocking too.  At 53 years old, Bobby looked like a man at least 75.  He probably stood about 5'10" and weighed about 115 pounds.  My brother tried on many occasions to get Bobby to go for some kind of help.  But he wouldn't go, he didn't think there was a thing wrong with him.  Beside everyone one was out to get him.

    About 7 months ago, Bobby's mother died.  He insisted he didn't  want to go to the funeral but Trucker Man practically forced him to go.  Said everyone needs closure.  Well, Bobby's daughter was at the funeral.  A 34 year old daughter that he had never met.  And he discovered that he was a grandfather to a 3 and a 6 year old.  His daugher wanted to get to know him and gave him her phone number.  But Bobby refused to call.  He said she must want something from him and he had nothing to give.  A small chance for a little love and warmth in his life and he throws it away.

    One of the times I remember most about Bobby was when Trucker Man was gone.  I was married to the Jar Head then.....oh so many moons ago.  The Jar Head worked second shift.  He had only been gone a couple of hours to work one day when my beautiful German Shepard became very ill.  At first I thought she would be okay but her beathing became more and more labored.  I called Jar Head at work and had him come home and we took her to the vet.  The vet thought it was just some type of virus and gave her some medication.  We took her back home and the Jar Head went back to work.  A couple of hours  later she went into convulsions.  Jar Head couldn't come home again so I called Bobby.  He was there in 15 mins.  But it was too late, Lady was dead.  I will never forget how he comforted me.  And how he helped me wrap her up and move her.  I don't know what I would have done without Bobby that night.  He was a true little brother.

     Last week Bobby colapsed on one of his little temporary jobs.  When he did, his head hit hard against a cement floor.  He had a massive heart attack and severe brain damage from the fall it caused.  He was rushed to the hospital.  His daughter was there every day.  And her mother came to give support to her daughter.  But Bobby never woke up.  Today his daughter with the help of my brother, her aunt and her mother made the decision to take her father off the respirator.  He lived less than two hours after that.

    Bobby had such a sad, useless life. But these were the choices he made.  I don't think that there was anything  anyone could have done or said to change any of it.  I wish things could have been different for Bobby.  I wish that he could have found love and even a little degree of happiness in this life.  But Bobby gave up years ago.

    I am writing this because I don't want his life to go unnoticed.  He wasn't a bad person and he had a good heart.  And even though they were his choices, I am sorry Bobby had the life he did.  Where ever you are now, Bobby, I hope that you have found peace and happiness.

 

 

 

Layla

 

Believes beauty is natural

She hardly ever wears make up

or goes to have her hair done

She like the feel of grass

between her toes

 

Layla has doubts about

 the story of Adam and Eve

Once she was sure a spell

 had been cast on her, she

chanted in the light of one blue

and two white candles to ward off evil

She has thoughts of becoming a witch

 

Layla adores toddles with

curly hair and devilment in their eyes

…..as long as they belong to

someone else

She fears all her creativity would

shivel up and die if she spent

eight hours a day chained to a

time clock

 

Layla never learned to cook

She has no desire to meet Betty Crocker

or hang out with Susie Homemaker

Sometimes she'll order a margarita

after I tell people I never drink

 

I wanted to go to the Dollar Store

but Layla took the wheel and

I ended up in Erie Pennsylvania

She drives 80 miles an hour with Aerosmith

vibrating the windows

 

Layla became a gear-jamming,

double clutching, 18 wheel driving mama

She wanted to see the entire USA

That didn’t last long

All she saw was flashing white lines as

the countryside blurred by

 

 

She feels Eric Clapton wrote

the song Layla  just for her

She especially likes the part,

“You got me on my knees

I’m beggin’ darling please”

Layla likes to wear

leather and 3 inch heels

Slaves, dressed in very little,

wait at her feet to satisfy

her every need

Fearing and longing for the sting of her

silver handled rawhide whip

 

Layla drives a red 1966 GTX 440

She loves to feel the powerful

engine rumble beneath her

She couldn’t resist when challenged

to drag race on east Exchange Street

She had the lead when the red

lights began flashing behind her

She asked, why didn’t you

pull them over too,

Then left me to deal with the situation

 

lcpickles